Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Who Thinks Poop Is Funny Now?

This is something that took place just prior to this extended discussion on human feces. I would normally not even consider posting this but since it is the subject at hand, and with urging from Brad, I will now preempt any further attempt to score with potty humor.

The boy left this present for my wife while they were in the tub. She in turn left it for me to clean up. I in turn saw it as a great photo op for the bathtub crew. She didn’t know I took the pictures, so I began e-mailing her a daily pic of her son’s embarrassing accident being trivialized by a couple punk-ass toys. She sent the pics to some friends and family. The feedback she got was interesting. There was no in between. Each person either loved it (poop is funny personality type), or thought it was disgusting (poop is not funny personality type). I agree that poop in the wrong context can be very sobering, but I have to say that I think baby poop in the bathtub with baby toys is pretty darn funny.

posted by Clay @ 6/29/2005 10:14:00 PM   3 comments

Monday, June 27, 2005

The Obesity and Stool Volume Question

In order to have a chance at getting to the bottom of Joe’s recent fascination with stool volumes of the obese and dead movie star cowboys. I want to clearly define the question so that we are all on a level playing field.

As I understand it, the question is: Do obese people have a greater output of stool than normal weight people? This question insidiously crept into his mind after years of noticing that when he finds himself in airport restrooms to do the deed in question, which is apparently a frequent occurrence, the number of obese individuals also there to relieve themselves does not seem to be proportional to the number of obese individuals in the general population at the airport.

I will first say that there are far too many factors in this question to resolve with any simple “thought experiments” or by polling friends and family of varying stature. But since that is about as far as I am willing to go with it, that is what we are stuck with.

My answer: Larger people, who eat more, have larger stools. There may be some questionable variables there, such as what is the size difference of the compared individuals, what are the various individuals eating, and is there weight relatively stable?
If you say that their weights are stable and they are eating the same types of food, then it stands to reason that the larger people will produce more feces.

As luck would have it, I was recently able to discuss this with a patient of mine who lost about 150 pounds. The answer was that the frequency of bowel movements decreased from twice daily, like clockwork, to once every two or three days. There was no observation of apparent stool size per defecation, but it was noted that the consistency went from solid and well formed to "soft serve". The confounding factor is that this patient had a crippled GI tract due to gastric bypass surgery. I have another patient who is undergoing a large weight loss, without surgery so once the weight has stabilized I may inquire further. Now that I think about it though, I would probably have much more luck finding individuals who have gone from normal weight to obesity to ask these questions, but I am afraid they might be a little less excited to talk about it.

Another questionable variable is regarding the measurement of stool. Should it be by weight or volume? Differences in gut flora, hydration status and many other factors could potentially produce a large variation in stool volume for an equivalent weight and without any significant difference in effective waste removal. I think I might have to vote for dry weight as the standard.

posted by Clay @ 6/27/2005 10:09:00 PM   4 comments

Saturday, June 25, 2005

22 pounds of WHAT?

Following our conversation of last evening, as I was flipping the channels today my attention was detained by a program highlighting the values of elimination. As the roundtable of estemed people discussed the importance of cleaning the gi tract, the quote was "at John Wayne's autopsy he was noted to have 22# of feces in his colon and if only he had been subjected to high colonic irrigation he would have lived another 2-3 yrs-"--not counting his terminal lung cancer.

So if the above IS true then maybe it is possible to overeat and not spent an inordinate amount of time in the airport toilet.

posted by joe @ 6/25/2005 09:56:00 PM   2 comments

Thursday, June 23, 2005

guilty people having fun eliminating balloons! Posted by Hello

posted by joe @ 6/23/2005 09:56:00 PM   4 comments

Peanut butter is better with a office FULL o'balloons Posted by Hello

posted by joe @ 6/23/2005 09:33:00 PM   0 comments

Taken to the cleaners Posted by Hello

posted by Sam the Blogger @ 6/23/2005 03:15:00 PM   2 comments

Saturday, June 18, 2005

More Funny Stuff

By the way, that last link was from which is also where I found "Pulp Fiction in Thirty Seconds-by bunnies"

posted by Clay @ 6/18/2005 09:54:00 AM   0 comments

Friday, June 17, 2005

In Line for Revenge of the Sith

As I had promised the Flash. This is definitely worth showing on a Friday afternoon.
In Line for Revenge of the Sith

posted by Clay @ 6/17/2005 10:35:00 PM   2 comments

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Marlboro Butt Farm

I have a good crop of Marlboros this year, but the Winston infestation is really going to hurt me come harvest time.

posted by Clay @ 6/16/2005 03:49:00 PM   0 comments

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Watermelon Art

Here are some pretty sweet Chinese Watermelon Carvings from His Nibs. By the way Nibs is a word that is new to me. See his intro for the definition.

posted by Clay @ 6/12/2005 07:55:00 AM   2 comments

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?

Friday pm Sam the blogger came over to my abode and started fishing in the pristine pond. He is an excellent fisherman and caught several medium sized bass. I launched the canoe and we fished in the middle of the pond. I caught a small bream and was in the process of returning it to the water when I noticed the fishing pole going down for the 3rd time. As I lurched for the pole my cell phone popped from the secure fastening and into the drink. Bye , bye cingular cell and hello a new phone. "Oh, we have to charge you retail price and would you like insurance?" Well, older and wiser--water and electronics don't mix. You can still call me on the same number.

posted by joe @ 6/08/2005 06:00:00 PM   2 comments

Disclaimer: This blog is for entertainment purposes. If you are a doctor, practice at your own risk.