Saturday, May 28, 2005

Underwear Allergy

Yesterday I saw a patient who receives her care at both "the program" and at my clinic. She was following up on an ER visit, in which she was treated for a "spider bite" on her buttocks. Amazingly, this spider bite looked like the abcesses on the surrounding areas of her ass. All she needed from me was narcotics for the pain and a note explaining the seriousness of her condition, so that she could get out of doing her community service work. Somehow in the process of explaining the reasoning for all this, she informed me that she was allergic to underwear. I have no idea what she said after that, because I immediately began dreaming of all the good aspects of women with allergies to underwear, followed by the unpleasant contrast of the reality of THIS woman with an allergy to underwear.

I know, I know latex allergy, elastic, blah blah blah.....It was still an exceptional moment.

posted by Clay @ 5/28/2005 12:19:00 PM   4 comments


At 6:19 PM, Blogger joe said...

A commonly misspelled word, abscess. I guess I know which "program" she is intermittantly with.

Now as to your problem--there is nothing remotely worthy of a dream in this case as you describe it.

If these thoughts continue, counselling may be needed.

At 10:08 PM, Blogger Clay said...

Okay you are on a roll, I thought abscess looked funny when I spelled it the way I did but I just got lazy and let it go.

Let me clarify dreamland for the record.....Women not wearing underwear-quality fantasy material; women from "the program" wanting narcotics and excuses from jail for their painful ass ABSCESSES-not so much.

At 10:47 PM, Blogger Sam the Blogger said...

what if groups of diseases were named like groups of animals. Instead of outbreak or pandemic it would be....
There was a school of rocky mountain spotted fever in arkansas this month.
Jonesboro is being hit by a flock of pneumonia.
this man had a swarm of MRSA abscesses attacking his body.
What does the methicorn travel in? Herds?

At 9:23 PM, Blogger joe said...

you tha man for thinking OUTSIDE the box!!


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