Saturday, January 29, 2005

Proceedings of the CC for January

This week we made a sushi run. A quorum was present, but just barely because Joe was tired, and frankly too old to pull it together after a few days out of the country marveling at the lack of otitis media in underserved countries. On our first stop for beer, Steve asked the cashier where the O'Douls was (for me since I was DD). She stated that she didn't know what that was, so they must not carry it. On the way out Steve was kicking himself for not asking if she knew what chlamydia was, because he was sure she carried that. In fact we were all upset by this, so Brad made sure to take a thorough sexual history from the cashier during the bathroom stop 30 minutes later. The sushi was good, the conversation was as well, but we were never quite able to get it out of the gutter. I blame the unusually high ratio of surgeons. Brad unexpectedly took an offer of 33 bucks to eat a wad of wasabi in one swallow. He did not seem to be quite as affected as the last time, which leads me to believe that maybe he was just putting on the last time he ate a wasabi ball, just so he could get paid again. The next time, I won't settle for anything less than direct application of the wasabi to both eyes.

posted by Clay @ 1/29/2005 05:02:00 PM   7 comments


At 5:54 AM, Blogger joe said...

Sorry I couldn't make it but it sounds like you were in grave need of uplifting conversation. I was in bed by 9 pm and besides there are NO chicken gizzards between here and there!!!!

At 6:01 AM, Blogger joe said...

by the way has anyone checked out the testicular prosthesis in the side bar? I guess if you would like bigger cahunnas(ie "the plum smuggler") it is possible.
prosthesis--cacoethes nice ring.

At 2:14 PM, Blogger Clay said...

Apotemnophelia is a psychiatric disorder in which the sufferer is obsessed with the removal of a healthy limb. I saw an episode on CSI about a guy who had this disorder, I think he died after a surgeon did the job for him at his house. Whole is a documentary about healthy people who want to be amputees. Acrotomophilia is the sexual attraction to amputees. Joe, in regard to your comment that cacothes-prostheses has a good ring to it. Perhaps we could describe a new condition-Cacoethes Prosthetica-in which a person has the irrational yet irresistable urge to wear a prosthesis. I'm not sure how this disorder would fit in relation to the above mentioned cluster of disorders. I'm not sure that all apotemnophiles are seeking to have their limb removed so that they could replace it with a prosthetic limb so I would think that they would be distinct entities.
Per your comment about wanting bigger cahonas, I don't necessarily think that a person who wanted to replace healthy testicles with larger prosthetic ones, a plum-smuggler wannabe, could be considered a sufferer of cacoethes prosthetica because this individual may be obsessed with having bigger testicles, by any means possible rather than strictly by means of prosthetic ones.

At 5:35 PM, Blogger joe said...

I must insist that a true cacoethes prosthesis NOT involve amputation or otherwise encourage any mental health problem. I suggest the ol' sock in the jock, or if more sophisticated a codpiece ala a male ballet dancer be the officially sanctioned Cacoethes Prosthesis.

At 9:38 PM, Blogger Flash said...

If one was to use the 'ol sock in the jock, you might make sure it doesn't shift between the legs to the back. The last thing you would want is a bulge in the rear of the speedos. I recently came across a funny game where a middle aged brad look-alike is trying to hit baseballs in a batting cage. There is a cut scene in the game where the character finds himself in the predicament mentioned above. Here's the link. Enjoy.

At 9:52 PM, Blogger Shane said...

I not sure I appreciated the "higher ratio of surgeons" comment. Obviously you're jealous of the "higher ratio" of poon that we drag as well.

At 10:54 PM, Blogger Clay said...

How about a "Face Five" for "The Shane"


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